Storms

: get back into doing push-ups in the morning… maybe; KM busts out the ice cream cake from Sunday’s symposium, chocolate on vanilla cake and it’s delicious; it’s a hot day outside; find a square plank of wood I consider to use for the yaoi project; wander into the The Container Store, meander through the closet and office sections; pestering thoughts of Subway; eat in front of computer watching Nurse Jackie; leave the house to buy a bottle of wine and wait for Modern Family; I enjoy singing and contemplate a fundraising plan involving Thirsty Alley.

The Ramp

: take the student workers to The Ramp for lunch, margaritas by the barges docked in the bay, SC and MB, CB and I; get home in time for Glee, the Rumours episode, TH brings home Volcano curry, I’m drinking wine, I call the iPad 2 commercial arrogant, get choked up over the Google Chrome “It Gets Better” commercial; I miss DW right now.

Shrine

: like a never slept at all; leftover cupcakes from the Visual Criticism Symposium; exhaustion crept in and leaves me reeling, fracturing my grammar; wait too long for the 38, doze in and out of sleep; at home, watch Glee and Fringe; CP finds me asleep on the couch; later TH, CP and I play Rock Band while she waits for A. to arrive so they can watch Game of Thrones; slowly put myself to bed, reading The Letters of Mina Harker, I use the Easter card I got from Nana and Grandpa as my bookmark.

Shoes

: finally a decent night’s rest; linger in bed reading The Letters of Mina Harker by Dodie Bellamy; leave the house in my sky blue Oakland t-shirt to get coffee and laundry detergent; Crooked Fingers: “Sleep All Summer”; today will be domestic duties; separate the darks from the brights and lug the sausage-like bag along Geary like a sailor on leave; during the wash cycle get a Bloody Mary at The Blarney Stone, watch the Giants vs. Nationals game; as I fold DW texts about going to Dolores Park; I should/I shouldn’t… I do; stop to pick up sammies and Crystal Geyser; the park is swarmed with people, bodies, and dogs; DW and I lay on a towel making fun of people as they pass by and ourselves; Overheard: “I’m always mean to the people I like. I’m just weird that way.”; do these muscle queens have jobs? Are they all escorts?; “In the event of Western Civilization meltdown, I’m coming here. This is the best view in the whole city.”; R “Miss Thing” D shows up with wine, chips & salsa; “You know, when a major natural disaster strike this town you know evacuees will be more like this than the Astro-Dome,” I say. “I got my wine, cheese and SPF, I’m all set!” DW says; we crack jokes and sing songs, Lady Ha-ha, Lady Baa-Baa, Lady Tra La La, Lady Fa La La La La La La La La, “Unbreak My Heart”; we meet our neighbors, one of whom is a Sister; the bathroom line is ages, “Go by the tracks,” DW urges. “Everyone does.” I’m skeptical and nervous of a passing train but as soon as the deep smell of urine hits me and I notice the whole stairs and decaying platform is a urinal, I go; At Marlena’s drag queens lip-sync for their life and good looking boys offer come ons; the barback slaps my hand as I reach for a lemon twist; sun goes down, DW and I walk to Deco for his strip contest; a (maybe) street man in the bar offers to buy DW and I a drink, I refuse, “I don’t lie,” he proclaims. “My mother was a pin-up and a Ziegfeld girl. My father was in the military, saw her pin-up, and searched her out!”; leave before the show, hiking up Larkin; Liz Phair on the bus, decide against getting dinner; at home make toast and peanut butter, chat with TH, watch the short they made, finish folding laundry, take a shower, go to sleep.

Red Pen Bear

: restless dreams; getting off to a late start; C. and I chat in the living room, hadn’t seen her in a while; “Your hair looks really good today. Maybe it’s the sunlight streaming in.”; was going to walk but took the bus; reading Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys; at Peet’s a medium coffee went up 5 cents to 2 dollars. “Did the price just go up?” I ask. “Yup,” the guy answers, clearly deflecting an obvious and well asked question; A pendulous day; the coffee maker works! C. got it going, somehow, “Maybe your crazy,” she suggests. “Maybe you’re right,” I say; we talk at the kitchen table about freedom, patriotism related to gay marriage, “Think of the waste of energy these people generate in their resistance to gay marriage and they call themselves patriots.”; T. comes home followed by A.; watch Rupaul’s Drag Race while they get dinner, eat toast with peanut butter and raisins, wine; later, we play Rock Band, sing “Space Oddity” and “Sister Christian”.

Vessel Log: 2011 04-25

: Shannon McArdle: Summer of the Whore while riding the bus; craving a gourmet cheeseburger and garlic fries; go for Bi Bim Bab at Wolfe’s; are we winding down, or winding up?; Jennifer Egan interview about her early writer’s life; on the way home, sleep a few minutes on the 38, contemplate dinner; stop at Walgreen’s, new hair product, shaving cream, wine, peanut butter, raisins; am I talking to myself?; so many ingredients for a tuna sandwich; Jeopardy and then a few episodes of Rupaul’s Drag Race and a few United States of Tara; USoT really weaves me around, feel more engaged with the world; a man crosses Geary with a large backpack; I worry about setting fires; not so tired tonight before bed; continue reading Grotesque.

Easter Sunday: Hunky Jesus

: Happy Easter; A.’s getting ready for her trip to Alcatraz; we walk in misty rain to Joe’s Café for breakfast before seeing her off on the 1; a taxi cab picks up some Asian seniors, an older lady has trouble getting into the passenger side, “It’s too high!” she says. “I don’t think that door is shut all the way,” A. says. “She better not fall out,” I say; stop for an orange juice and then a coffee; back home T. is on his computer before meeting some friends for brunch; the sun breaks out; rolling A.’s red luggage to the 38 bus stop, buy a bottle of Gnarly Head, Pinot Grigio and a wine opener; need to yell, “Back door, please!” while lumbering with the luggage; the 33 in the Haight picks up stoned kids wearing Cannabis and silver garland crowns, a Liverpool accent, eating Puff chips, “Remember when we were on this bus singing ’99 Bottles of Beer’ and ‘The Wheels on the Bus’! That was so fun!” and “I drank a bottle of acid at home and got on this bus. At every turn I’d raise my hands and go, ‘Yeah!’ I didn’t know where we were. I was all, ‘Where are we GOING?!’ like we were being kidnapped,” a guy says. They are also going to Dolores Park for the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Easter Celebration; D. finds me, a sea of color, shirtlessness, make-up, Easter hats; C. is there, we drink wine and watch boys dance like the Andrew Sisters, musical numbers, and costumes; a man in a rabbit fur coat with his scrotum pierced; A. finds her way to our little nest of bread, cheese and wine; Hunky Jesus contest, Yoga Jesus, THE Hunky Jesus disrobes to a cheering crowd, and Jesus F@cking Christ who takes it all; we linger before moving to Café Flore; A. and I take an F train downtown to bring her to CalTrain; On 4th we run into R. and a friend of his from high school, wearing rabbit ears; at the train station I watch A. check her ticket and walk to the train, she turns around for a final goodbye and I wave too. As she gets in, I tear up myself; walk to the Hole in the Wall for a beer, a guy approaches, hesitates and walks away, “You have superpowers,” another guy says to me. “You can make people drunk at the snap of a finger.”; meet D. at the Edge, feels like ages to get there; a drunk guy we want to escape from; take the 33 to the 38 and stop at Subway before going home; T. plays Rock Band, the synthesizer, “Space Oddity”; after a shower, I pour myself into bed, thankful for the second pillow.

Open Studios

: gather a sack of laundry, the whites and brights, haul on my shoulder into a chilly morning; the coffee shop with a bagel and vegetables, reading Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino on the couch, a toddler smiles and waves at me before getting on the other couch; singing to Annie Lennox: Diva; getting dressed for Open Studios, missed a bus so stop into The Blarney Stone for a beer; stop at Starbuck’s on 2^nd Street, wait for D.; people roaming the halls, in and out of studios; meet C.’s parents; helping hand out Tecate’s; the arrival of the taco truck and the winding line; a burrowing cough in my lungs; take the bus downtown with D. he goes to the gym then to Deco, I to the 38; then Gaspare’s to order dinner, take it home; T. plays Rock Band drums, C. and W. work on their laptops; wine with United States of Tara and some of Nurse Jackie; crawl into bed, eager for the black.

Veterans' Day

Installation by Julie Mendez.

: D. in his extra-large blue pajamas, gets orange juice from T downstairs; walk to Kaiser, run into M. strolling her son, he stares at me with big, curious brown eyes; waiting room in the SW corner, two well-groomed men, one taps his foot nervously while the other is ushered in; what I must look like, red-faced from walking, dripping coffee from my fingers, flannel and dirty jeans; weigh-in, 191 lbs, srsly?; heart-rate reads 92 which I mistake for my own but, as numbers flash and disappear, I realize it belonged to my predecessor; spray-gun thermos of liquid nitrogen; still early enough I go to Nijiya market for kewpee mayonnaise, salad dressing, tea, curry, and melon pan; he stands alone smoking a cigarette, blue flannel shirt, speed-acne, slight tilt to his eye, on the bus he flips through a sketchbook of inked octopi, stubble along his jawline and chin, a tilt to his lip, maybe no shower after a booze flipped night, feels like Friday; falafel with A. and run into C.; MetLife blimp, the image of Snoopy looks like a mix of Orville Redenbacher and the I.R.S. Records man; though I had 7 hours of sleep I feel hungover-exhausted; meeting about Stealth Seminars; snap a pictures of J.’s California Veteran’s statistics; ride the bus home; left-over chicken parmesan, Fringe and The Event; R. comes home, she shows me her work clothes for tomorrow, flannel blue pajamas and Cookie Monster slippers; “You’re gonna wear your nude Steve Madden heels, right?” “Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! No question. I was just 99% about the outfit, you know what I’m sayin’?”

Safe Surrender Site

: emails highlight making mountains out of mole hills; why does everyone get cc'd and when did "cc" become a verb; heat is rising; red dress on the bus talks loudly on her invisible phone about in-takes and disrespect; like a zombie walking into Haight Grocery; non-dairy vegetable pot pies (yuk), cheese and crackers, (Kathleen), organic Fuji apples, Cheerios; washing dishes, D. and I talk while he shreds last night's chicken; "I'm prepared to tell D. when I see her that we're being unfairly targeted," he says. "Yeah," I say. "Tell her some anemic troll came up the stairs and yelled at me."; red wine and Glee; "What happened to the speed in the show? The quick cuts and high energy?" Then Mercedes and Santana own "River Deep and Mountain High". "Here's what we've been waiting for!" and then... Rachel and Kurt do the Barbra/Judy duet from The Judy Garland Show!!; R. comes home while we're youtubing with "Proud Mary"; more wine, Cougar Town and 30 Rock; on the roof D. and I watch the stars, "I'm going to be happy to move out of here. I've been here for five years."; kick off the duvet and sleep under thin sheets.

The Hills

: text: dinner's in the oven I'm at my choir rehearsal, text response: sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your Old English rendition of "Bad Romance"; heat up last night's Shrimp Won Ton Pho; watch Dexter, The Event, and nod off in the middle of Fringe.

Clear Afternoon

: sleep the weekend off; trip to Lucky's for cleaning supplies; spend an hour in the bathroom disinfecting, wiping away grime, dust, and hair. The Swiffer makes mopping way more fun; strawberry Odwalla smoothie, kalbi kimchi sandwich from King Foot Sub; a nap while listening to laborer's next door tear up the house. They listen to KOIT and one sings along to Avril Lavigne, "I'm With You" which makes me happy; D. and I walk to get soup and notice Toy Story 3 is playing at the Red Vic; too much food at The Citrus Club, spring rolls, soba noodles with tofu and each a hefty portion of pho; walk around Amoeba, The Corin Tucker Band; a handwritten index card warning patrons of a PG-13 preview that shows before the movie. "Someone complained once during a screening of a G-rated movie about a preview, so now we warn everyone."; hard to believe the first Toy Story came out fifteen years ago.

Weddinz

: this could be bad, but it's not!; motivate the crew to move, go to the cafe for croissant egg and cheese sammies; on the 71 our loud talking forces a couple to move to the back of the bus. Then, a man singing falsetto wearing an iPod forces them to move to the middle; on the BART we play the movie title mash-up game we learned from Cougar Town; hail a cab to S. and N.'s; a hot and beautiful day; they prepare flowers from her mother's nursery; beer, mimosas and pastries; get emotional as the ceremony begins; we make speeches; "S. has always been honest in her generosity and certainly generous in her honesty!"; the arrival of the pig wrapped in foil; wine, food, and conversations; their wedding cake is absolutely delicious; we play the movie mash-up game to the point of dizziness; cab ride to the train and a cab from from 16th and Mission back to the Haight.

Lost

: 10:30AM and still drunk, body tenses with anticipation and guilt, what happened last night? Crawl into D.’s bed, we bemoan the presence of hangovers, the sounds of buses on Haight Street; coffee and breakfast, we get ready to leave the house; T.’s apartment is black marble and darkwood cabinets with new appliances and fresh paint, outside her door the residents of 101 scuttle into their crack in the wall; 71 to Golden Gate Park, walking with heavy beer and a blanket; bike parking, lawn chairs, guitars; Indigo Girls at 1:00PM, we’re in the ivy and dirt behind them drinking Sapporo; H. and J. arrive, tell us their Norm MacDonald and Tom Green stories; then an awesome performance by Dave Alvin and the Guilty Women; fish and (garlic) chips from the booths; people complement our food like it’s the sexiest thing; Rosanne Cash, Nick Lowe and then, as the fog rolls in and the mist sprays, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings; she tears up the stage with two beautiful back-up singers, a trio of hot men on brass, and she celebrates the whole audience from the front to the back; near the end I yell, “ShaRON!” and she hears me!!, waves; R., D., and I are the last ones left; walking home on Fulton passing retro buses and Airstreams; laughing until we’re exhausted; take the 33, make faces at each other; bearded guy with tattoos wears a black shirt with the word HEART in orange, “I like your shirt.” “Thanks, friend made it.” “Is that for the band?” “No, I went to Chico,” “Chico State? I been there.” D. pipes in “What kind of underwear you got on?” “Uh, this is my stop,” he says; craving bologna sandwiches but go for mortadella and Doritos; R. makes macaroni and cheese; the kitchen is a mess; D. and I watch Project Runway and two episodes of Cougar Town; flashing lights in my eyes; take a shower, go to bed, but I worry about the neighbors, think about gifting them Christmas cookies and rotten food outside their window.

Breakfast, Lunch, Chicken Teriyaki

Wolf's

: older, long-gray-haired guy yells at a 71L bus for not stopping at a non-limited stop, “Hey! Hey!!” pounding the metal side; Whole Foods salad bar shows no sign of shortages, outages. Craving chicken and beets. Eat on the grass in the shade of the Metro PCS billboard; one of the hottest days; wander to Trader Joe’s and BB&B for a vegetable peeler. Utensils these days are swollen and heavy. Crowded store, everyone behaves like they’re the only ones there. Myself included. I put back the packages of lowly salted almonds and organic dried cranberries. Single guys don’t push carts, they carry baskets or nothing at all; Now, how the hell am I going to get home?; walk towards Market, lady in short shorts and white halter, “Excuse me, can you do me a small favor?”, pass a street littered in debris, smells like urine, comparing Tokyo to San Francisco; catch the 6, “I just didn’t have the mind for Folsom this year… nakedness throughout the city, it was great… “, the bus is depressing, girl reads handwritten notes from a journal some of which are highlighted, a young and hobbit-like couple fawn over each other, we pass boarded shops in congested street traffic; a bottle of Yellowtail Cabernet, microwave dinner like a grandmama on Hoarders; Dexter and Desperate Housewives. R. and I chat in her room over wine before pouring into our beds.

Dario

: it’s early but that’s OK. I slept too much yesterday. Take a shower and avoid shaving. Not interested in my clothes; N Judah to Embarcadero, I like his golden knees and I like his orange shirt and thick wrists, corded; Rockridge outdoor festivities always competes with Folsom Street Fair; E. meets me at Hudson Bay with Dario; we walk him around the block before going back to Manila and seeing Nagamuko; drive to her new apartment building, a 4 unit, old-fashioned, reminds me of Nana Libra and Nonni’s place in Saxonville; brass and crystal fixtures, a lever that pulls and closes the downstairs door, mirrors and prints left behind, an iron shadow in the hardwood floor, scattered ventilation masks and tea cans, armoires, plastic wicker patio furniture, an empty bottle Smirnoff left on the porch stairs; we leave Dario in the car while we go to Rudy’s; Pixar tore up the secret garden in favor of an office building that looks like Sylvan; Pancakes Deuces Wild, coffee, side of bacon; pulling boxes from the pantry top shelf, sticking to the paint. “How did I ever get these up here?”; “He’s a tomcat, a mouser."; S. and S. are in the backyard, sipping Scotch; she cuts his hair with clippers, we talk Mercedes MacCambridge, Johnny Guitar; Scotch and homemade cookies; Polaroids and old photographs. We were babies; On the way to San Leando BART, “I’ve been listening to that remix: they be rapin’ evry’body up in here. Hideja kids, hideja wife”; Sun in my eyes; Man, red-faced and a red sweatshirt wearing nothing else; Safeway for coffee, yogurt, cereal and other supplies; Walking up Haight run into J. and his boyfriend J.; How do we not have a vegetable peeler?; Tuna sandwich, Project Runway and Top Chef: Just Desserts.

Red & Gold

: AIDA on the jumbotron at AT&T Park, spread on blankets with 7-Layer dip, $20 Scotch, plastic cups of red wine; smoking outside the gates; the moon rises like a bomb going off, orange and bulbous; drinking beer in the car ride home, some kind of Kona blend.

Wednesday Farmers' Market

Market & Noe

: sunny from Haight through 16th; oatmeal with brown sugar and crushed pecans; setting up log-ins, passwords, access. "I'm going to Thailand for Christmas."; learning new platforms; pad thai; birthday cake with chocolate pudding; lost his bike helmet; walk home into the sunlight. Strangers' figures and faces are blown out; Farmers' Market patrons; creeped by false flirtation, like birds of a scarecrow; washing dishes to Fleetwood Mac, "Little Lies" and "Gypsy"; rice, smoked salmon from a pouch and sliced tomato; First episode, Season 2 of Glee makes me very happy and I want to see more, wished they played out the "Telephone"-off; The Event which tweaked my interest but it's possible it could go the way of FlashForward or V.

Where 8th Meets 16th

: early morning darkness; fog horn is a snoring giant; Jonathan Franzen's Freedom; sesame bagel with hummus and tomato, California breakfast; porch-steps to a screen door office; my picture taken next to a mannequin; we talk as he smokes Benson & Hedges; dogs in Ohio; lunch at JB's, tuna sandwich, cranberry juice and a bag of Lay's; take the 10 towards downtown; can hear Coldplay: "Yellow" from someone's earbuds; where to rest my eyes? Knees seem like an OK spot in-between maudlin (feet) and perverse (crotch) but not creepy (face); tuxedo fitting by boy in a bright blue shirt, ignore his dandruff; Mondays are a "bloodfest"; yogurt and granola then Lean Cuisine Chicken Parmigiana for dinner, nuke the living daylights out of it; outside the night air is window and the trees are loud; police lights on the edge of the park, a figure dances in the searchlights and more scan the bushes and lawn.