Wednesday, August 06, 2008

All I Wanted Was A Lousy Diet C*ke!

Last night I watched Comedy Central's Roast of Pamela Anderson: Uncut & Uncensored. Largely because the beautiful and exquisite Courtney Love was on stage acting up like the punk-rock girl that thought she would've made a better Lucy in her high school production of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. She's a national treasure and I'm not kidding.


So, this show was basically all about how Pam is a bag of STDs, her V is so big she uses a trampoline for a diaphram, and how her boobs will be donated to the Smithsonian when she dies even though she's Canadian. Then they'd sparkle a little praise about her commendable involvement with PETA. It was funny and I think Pamela Anderson is a pretty swell gal mostly because she says what's on her mind, is committed to what she believes in, and comes off like a caring person.


So, throughout the show, since it was TV-MA and "Uncut" and "Uncensorsed" I heard EVERY cuss word in the English language (C*** included.) Bea Arthur was in attendance! She heard it all, ask her. Also, Pam's nippies were beaming through her sheer black blouse. Fine by me. They don't scare me.


Now, Lisa Lampanelli gets up there and she's doing her bit about big c*cks and p*ss*ies and b**b**s... so her joke ends with her, for some reason, needing a soda and she says Diet [insert brand of sodie-pop here]. And they bleeped it!


. . .


They bleeped Diet C*ke? After nearly torching the FCC with firebreathing curse words they bleeped out Diet C*ke.


When did products and corporations become worse words to use on air than curse words? I swear to you, while wearing my jammie-jams, eating a Tr*d*r J*'s J*-J* and drinking a tall glass of water I laughed.


Products, corporations, and their intellectual property are sacred territory now. More so than our genitalia, our reputation, and our privacy. These words require more protection than people who reside around failing infrastructure.

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